I am finally starting to feel like myself again.  I’ve always been an athlete to thrive on the bad and the ugly.   making things others hate my strengths.  That’s right, give me tons of uphill and slow conditions and I’ll have a blast.  … it’s this ability to relentlessly suffer that has made me into the athlete I am today.

I think I’m finally coming out of the rough patch that encompassed much of my September and October.

Back in command of the pain train.  That feeling when you choose the pace and bring everyone else along for the ride… that is, if they can hang on.  It’s there. Back right where I want to be.

Today was a double intensity day with rollerski intervals on the treadmill this morning and running intervals this afternoon.  The last time I was on that treadmill I started crying I was so tired. Yep.  Sobbing and skiing and far from coherent. (probably a good sign I was a little overworked…) Its good to feel like I have control over my intensity again.  As opposed to my summer and fall of holding on for dear life. Young and white knuckled in the game of chase and inexperience.

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens.  Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering.  Resistance creates suffering.  Stress happens when your mind resists what is… The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.” –Dan Millman

This is my element.  Boy does it feel good to be back.