Today I arrived to a very different Grand Rapids, Minnesota than I’m used to…

This very day last year I opted out of a warm up Minnesota Cup race because it was “too cold”.   Am I in the right place?  It was 40 degrees when I arrived.  There is even less snow on the ground here than there is in back home in Wisconsin.  Its far from the typical subzero Arctic temperatures we expect to greet us in the annual pre-Christmas biathlon races.

Today might be the exception warmth wise…  Apparently the Northern Midwest has been every bit the opposite of the Adirondacks.  While its been raining and hovering right around 40F in New York its been pretty darn cold here in Grand Rapids… the precipitation just hasn’t come yet.  The folks at Mt. Itasca have been making snow for over a week now and they have almost 2km of trail covered.  I know it isn’t much, but its a start!  And hopefully tomorrow I will be skiing lap after lap on it.

How many loops do you think it will take for me to get dizzy?

Being a professional amateur athlete has its up sides…  For instance, I’ve picked up some obscure talents that may or may not cross over to the real world some day. (yeah right)

Some of these skills are, but in no way limited to, the following:

Constructing drying racks/lines out of whatever means necessary.  Often containing shoe laces, rifle cases, lighting fixtures, vents, and wire clothe hangers…

Wielding large cumbersome objects through tight spaces, and not causing bodily harm to any innocent bystanders.

Knowing exactly how much 50 lbs is.  (If I can heft it onto my shoulder in one movement it is under 50lbs….every time)

Knowing how to trick scales into thinking your bag is only 50lbs.

The ability to sleep anywhere, anyplace, anytime, any how.  Bonus points for doing so in the middle of a 5 person row in the back of a plane on an 8 hour flight.

Cooking entire meals on a hot plate.

Smiling your way through customs.  ‘Wait… You?  …have the firearm???’

Counting to 5.  Well atleast 3…

…

If anything I’m set up wonderfully to be a hobo if this biathlon thing doesn’t work out.

I had a little meeting with our awesome sports psychologist in Utah to talk about how I manage stress.  Or lets face it… we talked about how poorly I was handling stress and what we could do about it.

Anxiety was burning me out.  My immune system was growing weak.  I had stress dreams… It just wasn’t a whole lot of fun anymore.

I would form these questions in my mind.  They made me feel unprepared.  Uncertain.  They would get me all worked up.  And for what?  They were hypothetical questions that I was asking myself!?!?

What was I doing!?  …self sabotage?  maybe just a little.

I’m pleased to tell you.  We’ve fixed it… fixed me?  and it was simple.  Answer those friggin questions!

So here you go.

Question:  Corrine why aren’t you on snow right now?
Fix:  Shut up, you’re awesome.

Question: Well everyone else is on snow…
Fix:  Shut up!  You’re awesome.

Question:  Corrine, you are going to be on snow for FOUR days before your first race!?
Fix: Shut up, you’re awesome.

Question:  Everyone else has been racing… you’re falling behind.
Fix:  Shut up, you’re awesome!

Question:  Corrine… you missed alot of training.  Is your arm even attached to your shoulder?
Fix:  Yes. I know. Shut up, you’re awesome.

Question:  So are you ready for this?
Fix:  Oh hell yeah.

I’m slowly working on updating my site.  Check out the new and improved “Links”  “About Me”  and  “Stats”  pages when you get the chance!

Corrine

I am finally starting to feel like myself again.  I’ve always been an athlete to thrive on the bad and the ugly.   making things others hate my strengths.  That’s right, give me tons of uphill and slow conditions and I’ll have a blast.  … it’s this ability to relentlessly suffer that has made me into the athlete I am today.

I think I’m finally coming out of the rough patch that encompassed much of my September and October.

Back in command of the pain train.  That feeling when you choose the pace and bring everyone else along for the ride… that is, if they can hang on.  It’s there. Back right where I want to be.

Today was a double intensity day with rollerski intervals on the treadmill this morning and running intervals this afternoon.  The last time I was on that treadmill I started crying I was so tired. Yep.  Sobbing and skiing and far from coherent. (probably a good sign I was a little overworked…) Its good to feel like I have control over my intensity again.  As opposed to my summer and fall of holding on for dear life. Young and white knuckled in the game of chase and inexperience.

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens.  Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering.  Resistance creates suffering.  Stress happens when your mind resists what is… The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.” –Dan Millman

This is my element.  Boy does it feel good to be back.